A Season to be Gentle

Almost everyone, when they are grieving, has one or more tasks or traditions that prove to be too difficult to handle or bear during this “festive” time.  In most families changes can be made and/or other family members can help, but nothing can change until you identify what you need. So often it is a simple change. Once identified, it can help bring you some peace of mind. Say YES to what you truly value during the holidays and NO to whatever contributes only to clutter or distraction.

Use the following reflection to write down and reflect on plans and feelings for the Holidays:

  1. What are my fears for the holidays?
  2. What are my values for the holidays?
  3. What does a peace-filled holiday season look like?
  4. List Holiday activity items under the the following categories:
    1. Things I have to do      Things I like to do  Things I would rather not do
  5. The ways I plan to take care of myself this holiday season are: 
  6. List holiday activities you have done in the past:
  7. List the activities you’ve enjoyed in the past:
  8. Which activities would you enjoy or feel comfortable doing this year?
  9. Are there changes you would like to make from past years’ activities?
  10. Are there special things you would like to do this year because of your recent loss or to honor the memory of a loved one?
  11. Other possibilities and ideas:

Grief is a natural part of life when someone we love dies. Finding your way through the changes and often painful emotions that arise during the days, weeks and months that follow a death can be difficult. You don’t have to do it alone. Hospice of Santa Cruz County has helped thousands of people through their grief journey. If you’d like information on our services available to help through our Grief Support Program, please call (831) 430-3000 or visit our website at www.hospicesantacruz.org/patients-family-community/grief-support-services.